I want a big salty tube

Well, that post title should get some hits. Me and the boy were discussing hot dogs. We got some fancy gourmet ones at the farmers' market, and they were okay, but not... hot dogs. I want a homogeneous, savory, spiced, sweaty tube of meat. My vegetarian friends can just look away. And also children. Actually, I'm just gonna say nobody watch me eat hot dogs, please. This hot dog wasn't homogeneous enough, not sweaty enough, and definitely not spiced properly.

It did not go well with ketchup. It did not go well with relish. It went okay with mustard (what doesn't, really?). It went okay with cheese (same story). Where was my flavor explosion of the savory, the sweet, the sour, the hot? I did not think of summer, grass tickling my feet, baseball games I would never attend. I thought of how sad I was it wasn't a real hot dog.

Rule: Don't ever buy fancy hot dogs. You can buy regular hot dogs and put fancy things on them, but don't buy fancy hot dogs.

Next time: Beets. Or spoons. Unsure.