On things. Stuff. Objects.

Sorry about the missing post last week, 1.5 posts this week to make up. Going back to stories + objects, Slate recently put out an article featuring a project by Joshua Glenn and Rob Walker to pair writers up with random things and write stories about them (sound familiar to a previous blog post?). They also have issued a challenge to readers to create a story about a BBQ Sauce brush with holder that will be sold on eBay, the cash moneys going to the author.

Honestly, thinking about doing it. Will post story if I do.

Those who want to get in on it:

From Slate: You'll write a short story (500 words or fewer) in which this object plays an important role. (Please do not make reference to the fact that the object is being sold on eBay, and do not mention the penny that appears in the photo for scale—the story's plot should be independent of the project's context.) The stories must be e-mailed to slatesignificantobjects@gmail.com by Oct. 16 at 5 p.m. Please also tell us your full name and the city and state you're writing from. All submissions may be quoted—and attributed to their author—in a follow-up article on Slate announcing the winning entry.

Rule: Seriously consider this contest, and post thoughts in the comments. I'm interested to see what people come up with.

The Slate bit

The Significant Objects Project

Packaging design: missing the point

images from TheDieline.com

I love TheDieline.com because I love packaging. Sometimes they show the most AMAZING packaging, and sometimes stuff that's just well-done. Yet other times, they feature something that I disagree with (not that I disagree with the site, but rather the concept of the packaging).

More images of the line here.

I see what they're going for here, but I don't think this is the appropriate feel for cheese. I agree with making it more accessible, but I think most people want to feel sophisticated, rather than stylish when (specifically) consuming cheese. They want to feel like it's accessible, not convenient. They want it to feel timeless/aged, not new and trendy.

I'm cool with the awesome type on the inside of the package, and accessibility is handled well with the brief descriptions, but the tone is all wrong. Plus, do we really need more packaging that does the ubiquitous isolated product shot floating on a mystery, reflective, white surface with giant sans serif behind it to be hip and edgy? Also, what the hell is with that handwritten script?! Where does that even come from? Doesn't fit the theme at all. Boooo, cheese. You make me not want to buy you. Which says a lot, because I love to buy cheese.

Look forward to more gripes about packaging soon.

Rule: Do research into your market AND your demographic. Just because you're pitching to ego-centric yuppies doesn't mean that you want to design their cheese packaging like their perfume packaging.

o hai

...too lazy for a real blog post, but industrious enough to take several shots of myself and post-process and add a caption to the photo.

Next week: either a post on words/vocabulary, a post with more Photoshop work, or a post about valuing procrastination. Up to you.

Rule: Get rid of the two-second timer, cameras. It is never long enough.

Just so you guys don't think I'm a big punk.

I post a lot of things on this blog, and I don't want people to think I just put it out there and don't take my own medicine.

I started with an easy goal, as they tell you to do.

I'm cooking more.



This is pan-grilled tempeh with a "chutney" of onions, fire-roasted poblanos, garlic, turmeric, white pepper, and coriander. Slices of seared tomatoes on top, a couple of dollops of creme fraiche, and a blob of raspberry sorbet to temper the heat of the poblanos and the acidity of the tomatoes. Best part? All this was locally-grown except for the tempeh (trader joe's) and the creme fraiche (leftover from a tea party).

Rule: Practice what you preach. Also, have a tea party. My last one was awesome.

(side effect of me cooking more: more photos! woo, multitasking!)

To do list.

It's list time.

Things that just overwhelmed me recently:

- bought a ring from a vintage store. will imbue with meaning. somehow.
- get better at dancing
- get back out to Eastern Market before it gets cold
- get better at writing
- design my Halloween costume of Cthulu
- respond thoughtfully to others' emails (sorry, you know who you are!)
- be a good listener
- post a draft blog post I've been saving for a while
- attend more cultural/art events in the city (Arts on Foot, Crafty Bastards, Pilobolus, augh!)
- visit all the museums that are free
- go camping/cook stuff outdoors
- figure out if being in a relationship with no real plan is ok
- find hippie deodorant that works well (trying this out)
- participate more actively in my community-supported agriculture program
- travel more
- save more money (not sure how I will make this and previous work together)
- learn to cook better
- take more photos
- wear that scarf my boyfriend bought me
- become more fit
- dress like a French lady
- read more
- listen to more TED talks
- paint some ceramic
- use my ampersand printers blocks
- decorate my house like a European cafe
- reinvent wheel
- buy an effing comforter and duvet cover
- buy a pocketwatch
- decide what i want to do with life??
- start an etsy store?
- question marks
- try more restaurants
- move where my friends are/make my friends move where i am
- become better at making conversation
- be as smart as i was in high school
- go to the club with DVS and dance till i drop

I have no idea when I will have time to do all of these things.

Rule: Occasionally smack yourself in the face with all of your current goals. It will help you re-prioritize. Then figure out concrete ways to take the first step in achieving these goals. Any helpful tips welcome.

1-800-BE-USER-FRIENDLY

Dear all you *clever* companies out there,

You have found just the cutest little phone number for yourself and the letters spell out exactly your company's mission statement, or your best weekly deal, or your dog's last name. You were so happy it was available! You've listed it on all your collateral and web material. Thing is, you've forgotten to also list what numbers those letters correspond to, and I now hate you because I can't remember whether jkl is 5 or 6 because I'm on a Blackberry. Oops and I forgot 1 is not abc but rather no letters so I've accidentally dialed a moving company. Also, when I'm on a phone that does list the letters, I'd rather not play word hunt while dialing. Please list your cutesy mnemonic phone number WITH your numeric phone number. Thank you, and I apologize for the stabbings, but they were necessary.

Love,

User.

Rule: Make it ludicrously easy for people to dial your phone number and reach a representative.

Porn for Wendell Berry

This is what I got in my inbox over the weekend. I feel like this might make Mr. Berry quite aroused.


Vegetable Love

by Barbara Crooker

Feel a tomato, heft its weight in your palm,
think of buttocks, breasts, this plump pulp.
And carrots, mud clinging to the root,
gold mined from the earth's tight purse.
And asparagus, that push their heads up,
rise to meet the returning sun,
and zucchini, green torpedoes
lurking in the Sargasso depths
of their raspy stalks and scratchy leaves.
And peppers, thick walls of cool jade, a green hush.
Secret caves. Sanctuary.
And beets, the dark blood of the earth.
And all the lettuces: bibb, flame, oak leaf, butter-
crunch, black-seeded Simpson, chicory, cos.
Elizabethan ruffs, crisp verbiage.
And spinach, the dark green
of northern forests, savoyed, ruffled,
hidden folds and clefts.
And basil, sweet basil, nuzzled
by fumbling bees drunk on the sun.
And cucumbers, crisp, cool white ice
in the heart of August, month of fire.
And peas in their delicate slippers,
little green boats, a string of beads,
repeating, repeating.
And sunflowers, nodding at night,
then rising to shout hallelujah! at noon.

All over the garden, the whisper of leaves
passing secrets and gossip, making assignations.
All of the vegetables bask in the sun,
languorous as lizards.
Quick, before the frost puts out
its green light, praise these vegetables,
earth's voluptuaries,
praise what comes from the dirt.

"Vegetable Love" by Barbara Crooker, from Radiance. © Word Press, 2005. Reprinted without permission.

Rule: Do these things. And then film yourself eating the vegetables. Then send copies to me.