Just one simple rule for today.

Rule: Say the word "crepuscular."

And we're back

4.) Working for [adult swim]/a marketing company. I was hired by adult swim to be an event planner, basically. My job was to work with a partner (who I found to be utterly unhelpful, and thus ended up costing my school's campus to have it's adult swim college rep program to shut down in its first year) to create awareness of adult swim programming. We chalked sidewalks, we threw parties, we had trivia nights, pub crawls, etc. Met a lot of people. It was a lot of fun. Things I learned: independent store/restaurant owners are actually more willing to help you out than you think. Managers on duty forget a lot of things. Organizing events is a lot of fun, and large groups ultimately want the event to succeed and people enjoy helping. Monte Cristo sandwiches are so delicious. I like event planning, but only one event at a time. Never count on a partner you don't trust. Just go ahead and do everything. If you have a partner that you trust, examine your trust with unbiased, excruciating detail, because that partner might not be so helpful either. School buildings have a lot of chalkboards. If you spray hairspray (non aerosol, that will just blow the chalk away) on sidewalk chalk, it will stay days longer than everybody else's. BWAHAHA. There are a lot of people who don't care if someone is married, they will try to sleep with that person.

5.) I was an intern-type at Michigan Radio in Ann Arbor for a while through work-study. It was excellent. I transcribed things, learned a bit of Peak DV (audio software), edited grammar, sent radio programs to the broadcasting station, designed marketing material, found related links and news stories to the ones being produced by us. Things I learned: being inside a recording studio is terrifying. There are so many buttons and things that could potentially go wrong. I am bad at staying focused on a job. I really like designing things. I learned lots of stuff about the environment and water (totally awesome). I learned where a really awesome market used to be but it closed down not too long after I left Michigan (very sad).

6.) Account manager. I worked for a company that helped reconcile financial records of health insurance companies and hospitals. It was the most boring job of my life, but they paid for a lot of training, and shipped me to Nashville, where I had a wonderful time. But seriously, poke-your-eye-out boring. The on-the-job training gave me a false impression of how well I'd do in my assigned region because their filing system was more advanced technologically. Things I learned: I never want to do this again. Do not settle for a job just because you are getting desperate. Only settle if you really truly are desperate. Hospitals and health insurance companies keep terrible records and they don't talk to each other. Hospitals don't seem to receive a lot of money from any source. Some really nice people work in administrative positions. cube farms are terrifying, but they have the best snacks available/for sale. Nashville is a fun city. Having a personal bodyguard who is also your friend is pretty much the most fun a person can have while going out. Don't be afraid of spending money on spur-of-the-moment things; it's ok to indulge sometimes, especially if it enriches your life. If you start dancing, other people will start dancing too. Coyote Ugly is a silly place, and any modicum of dancing skill is cheered like a masterpiece. Also, if you are a girl of a certain build, they basically don't give you the option of not going on the bar.

7.) Marketing coordinator. (Everybody by now has basically seen my cv) Handled the marketing initiatives of a tech company. Designed promotional material, website aesthetics, rebranded, worked on SEO, monitored advertising, did interior decorating. Things I learned: I am very slow at designing. I do not like douchebags at all. I do really like tech guys. I do not like being in a position with all responsibility and no control. Some people have no imagination and I don't really know how to communicate with them. When my personal life changes radically, I have a hard time keeping it out of my professional life. This was also the first time I have ever cried in front of an employer (also not the last). People who read a lot of advice-type books can have a strange outlook on life, and tend to believe in them fiercely. I do not know if these books work. I don't mind having things explained to me, but if someone is condescending, I absolutely will not listen. People have hidden talents. Employers rarely believe in listening to problems despite professing it. They will listen to solutions though, so sometimes you can disguise problems as such.

Today: I work as an executive assistant. Things I have learned so far: how to book flights last minute. How to check to see if seats are good on those flights. How to negotiate. The Maryland Motor Vehicle Administration is a terrible organization that does not wish to help anybody. Learned a bit about how to be in a managerial position. The Lebanese know how to party. Only rarely can you get 100% attendance at a meeting. Where all the good inexpensive restaurants are in Dupont Circle. Where some of the best Caribbean food is in DC. How to apply for visas and several other government-related forms. How to slow down. How to force people to give you information. How to buy a motorcycle. What are good questions for an interview. I'm sure there's more, but that's it for now.

I feel like I've learned a lot. You can learn just as much working at one job vs. a million, but it's quite a bit faster this way, and I highly recommend it. The bad economy currently gives people an excuse to hop around now, and when questioned about it later, they have a wonderful scapegoat to blame it on! Furthermore, now I know what types of people I'd like to work with, how I would like to see a business run, and what makes it valuable. So when I finally figure out what I want to do permanently, I'll know what to look for. Any ideas as to what I should do permanently?

More interlud'n

I promise I'll get back to posting about how fulfilling it is to have lots and lots of jobs. For now, let's say: really fulfilling.

IN THE MEANTIME:

Tyler Florence, I'll forgive you for preparing recipes for a chain restaurant, but I will never forgive you for these latte bowls:



They are so ugly. I know you wanted to modernize them, but no. You made them suck. Okay maybe they're not the worst things ever but can you please not call them latte bowls? Because these are cafe au lait bowls (which is what people are calling latte bowls but my preference for French aside...):





I know, your bowls are also fluted and footed, which to me, is like the ultimate in bowl technology right now, but yours look like a weird, malnourished hoof or a non-earthquake safe modern building. Not a bowl. It appears you have eaten the first blue bowl, processed, then extruded a little bit of it from your anus. Sorry.

Rule: Tyler Florence please stop designing bowls.

A brief interlude...

Here's Spoka, my new work desk lamp I just got from IKEA. I love IKEA, but why on earth would you have a ghost child's nightlight? Sure it's cute, but it's still a ghost. Anyway, it's totally awesome. Not actually spooky though the concept is strange. He's a lot more green in real life than I could capture with my camera or edit through Photoshop. Wheee!!!

Rule: If appropriate, buck tradition*

So what I originally wanted to say was, "Have approximately a million jobs," but I realized that advice might not be for everyone, so I thought maybe I should say, "Don't be afraid to change jobs," but then that sounded lame and what I really meant was that things change and sometimes the way other people (like your parents) have done it is not always the best or most fulfilling way or even the safest way (though a lot of the time parents successful enough to have raised a child who reads awesome blogs like mine have pretty good advice, so I'm also not saying don't take their advice), and of course, most people of my approximate socioeconomic status and education know this is true BUT LOTS OF THEM STILL BECOME DOCTORS, LAWYERS, BUSINESS GRADS, DOUCHEBAGS MASQUERADING AS HIPSTERS (which are just yuppies with theatrical dirt applied to them trying really hard not to be yuppies) AT THEIR PARENTS' BEHEST AND THEN THEY BURN OUT AND LOOK BACK ON THEIR LIVES AND GO, "I GUESS THAT WAS NICE," "WHERE DID MY YOUTH GO," "I THINK I GET DRUNK TOO OFTEN, " OR SOMETIMES JUST "WELL, SHIT."

So I decided to condense that to the aforementioned rule. Also, for those crazies like me who always look for the footnotey asterisk:

*Appropriateness is determined by the amount of lasting happiness and education that will be accrued over the course of a lifetime without hurting others in a direct or deliberate fashion.

Anyway, I've had about a job a year since I graduated university, and the longest I've ever had a job in my life is two years (though there were long and significant breaks between the years and I will illuminate later). Of course, this makes me look like a flakey mess and people look at my resume and think, "Well that's a waste of training dollars," but I feel like an improved and robust person for it. And now I will go through them all. Yes, this will be a long post.

1.) Babysitting - Not on my resume, really, but this was just a continuation of my "hanging out with kids" streak that was going on when I was young. I didn't have very many friends my own age, partially because my parents were friends with couples who had kids who were much younger so it'd be my job to entertain them when we all got together for dinner. As I got older, it became the natural thing to do. My affinity and empathy toward children starts here. My love of Disney and make-believe doesn't hurt, either. I credit myself with teaching one of them to read, and I swear on my life that I saw another's first steps. Things I learned: I love kids. Kids will emulate everything you do or say. Kids will listen if you talk to them. There is no better way to convince a kid to do something than to tell them/demonstrate that you like it. I am not ready to have kids.

2.) Tutoring at the Chinese Language School of Minnesota - I was a Chinese School dropout, so it was funny that when my mom became a teacher that I became her teaching assistant. The one thing I retained was how to read the Chinese alphabet: a phonic alphabet that is used to teach kids what characters sound like that usually only appears in really young childrens' books and disappears in literature for youth. Most adults have forgotten the alphabet, but I still know how to read this and sound things out. To be honest, this was a volunteer thing I did in high school to enhance my college applications. Totally mom's idea. Fun regardless because I got to draw helpful illustrations on the whiteboard. Things I learned: class clowns who are also teaching assistants are sometimes the best for memorizing things. It's easier to remember things that are unexpected or funny or unexpectedly funny. Chinese is a really hard language. I have yet to be truly regretful that I do not know how to read it though.

3.) Camp counselor(ing?) and volunteering at the Science Museum of Minnesota - I did this for two summers in a row during high school. My mom was terrified that I would become a teacher (because, you know, that would be horrible. now that I'm not a teacher - or any of the other things she envisioned - she thinks maybe I should become a teacher). I loved this. I grew up with the SMM, having previously been in the summer camp program myself. I didn't automatically think I wanted to be a camp counselor, but when I needed some extra cash, this was an easy job to apply for, considering my previous history with children. I bonded with the kids over Digimon (yes, I watched Digimon on afternoon TV after school in highschool), and loved interacting with them, did not like disciplining them (though I had to sometimes), and loved watching them learn. For a perspective on the capacity in which I volunteered, check this. Things I learned: My current favorite child demographic is the 6 to 8-year-olds. They're old enough to understand a lot of things, but young enough to accept most reason and authority. Kids are way more smart and forgiving than you will ever know. I had a group of kids clamoring for my individual attention and yelling my name and they all, without communicating, became aware of what they were doing, and started mocking themselves by saying my name over and over in annoying voices. I lowered my clipboard (an SMM staff ubiquity), and all I could say was, "You guys are so awesome." Teaching is best done through love and through display of love and fascination. Digimon is a terrible show. Siblings will cover for each other even when the infraction is against the other. There are some weird allergies out there.

*Phew* That was a lot for only my first three jobs. I guess we can call this the "children edition" or something. I'll post more jobs later.

Rule: Have Internet in the kitchen

This is just a must. Found a recipe on the internet? Eco-conscious and not wanting to print things out unnecessarily? Bring your laptop into the kitchen. Jam out on tunes on Pandora or Seeqpod while having the recipe and your friends at your fingertips.

Other rule: Wash your hands before touching your computer if you have internet in the kitchen. This way, your keyboard won't turn into a dinner roll and your touchpad won't be a hotbed of salmone. colococcus.

Not sure how you'll feel about this...

I've decided to start saying as a retort, "More like crack-a-lackin' in flavor." When describing some mediocre food.